An Almost Nightmare

While Ive been playing Houdini on the blog, Ive been doing a lot in Life. Fun things, awful things, stressful things, relaxing things, travel things, home things, Stuff and all of the Other Stuff Life brings about.

Today though, today was a Day. There was some business that was finally resolved after days of –  well, to be frank, stress and fear. By late afternoon, i was exhausted but in that way where your brain is mush and you cant actually sleep so you do your best impression of a zombie. know the feeling? If youre a parent, you probably do.

foreshadowing foreshadowing foreshadowing. dont worry, im working up the nerve to relive this and forever preserve it on the interwebs.

So this afternoon, I went to drive my sister in law home. We barely spoke. We were both spent. I came home and flopped down on the couch. I started watching The Good Wife and mumble-chatting to my husband while i dozed off. After about 10minutes, I said, “hey, where’s Augie?” As Chase got a funny look on his face, I simultaneously shot up and said, “hes in the car!”

Before I go further, I need to say right now that hes 100% fine. But in that split second, Chase and I went running out to the car while I frantically clicked “unlock” over and over again. Car doors work until you are a hysterical parent trying to simply pull it open. Chase opens the door and there is Augie, a little warm, not even sweating, and sound asleep. I had put his seat in the third row rather than the second because we had extra people in our car for the last few days. That simple change compounded with exhaustion and i totally, simply, forgot. Chase pulled him out, I held him and held him and held him and held him until he woke up an hour later and said, “hewwo mommy!”

You guys, I cannot even let my brain go to the What If realm. I can, however, recall every time I have read an article about a parent leaving a child in a car. My heart always hurts for them, and I have tried to convince myself that I always believed parents that “simply forgot”, but in the back of my head, I still thought that sounded crazy. Who the hell does that? Well, now me. And I am EFFING LUCKY that it turned out perfectly perfect. Especially in June.

Today I was emotionally, mentally, and physically drained. I was going through the motions of Adulting today, when really, I needed a juice box and nap. Adults, but in particular parents, and I may even go further and say especially mothers are the worst about taking care of themselves because so much is always coming right at us. It’s easy to put our own selves on the back-burner when we are being a parent, partner, nurse, cook, maid, taxi driver, and so much more. It’s easy, and Ive definitely been guilty of putting myself last too many times. However, this time, my lack of self preservation could have had awful consequences.

I tell you all of this story for a few reasons: 1. Car accidents can absolutely truly really for real real realdom happen. For real. FOR. REAL.  2. Take a nap, do yoga, have a drink, go out and see friends, indulge in your hobby, spend that money guiltlessly and get yourself that thing youve been eyeing, sleep in when you can, wake up early and have extra quiet time when you can, tell people No, ask for help, just take time for you. do it.

Im writing this while I have a guiltless drink, watch The Good Wife, and smile at Augie curled up on the couch next to me watching Thomas videos as the sun sets. We could have been living a nightmare. Instead,  we are having a lazy, stress-free evening. Thank god. thank thank thank god.