Do you ever – hold on.
Just a second, kiddo, I’m talking.
Ok, sorry about that. So anyway, do you ev-
You have not been interested in speaking to me this ENTIRE time until now! PLEASE WAIT.
*opens mouth to speak*
AHHH! What’s wrong?! HOLD ON!! *run* *save day* *check for blood*
Of course when I turn my back, that happens. OK SO. As I was saying:
Do you ever have one of THESE conversations?
(And you actually count this as a conversation because you are a parent now)
Where, by the time you can utter a complete thought, you’ve forgotten what you were going to say?
It’s especially fun when the poor person on the other side of this “chat” is ALSO trying to speak.
You two end up speaking and it sounds like how an interpretive dance may look:
*speak a few phrases, look down, look across the playground, run forward while looking backward still trying to speak, dip, grab child, airplane, airplane and glllliiiiiddddeeee into the next few words*
A holiday weekend is fast approaching. You may be around family, friends, friends of friends, and/or that coworker (you know the one). Remember, if you need a fail-safe exit to an awkward conversation, stand next to your child and open your mouth. They are tiny fire escapes with legs.